Brand new Sooty DVD - in actual shops!

This one really crept up on me. I've been trying to get a DVD into the shops for years, and thus far my only plausible option has been to sneak into HMV and discretely deposit my home-made volumes on their shelves. And walk out. (Not that I've ever attempted this.)

Of course I'd remembered The Sooty Show DVD was coming, (August 14th, my sister's birthday!), but I'd forgotten that it was actually going to be 'commercial.' As in, I can now visit a high street store and pose next to something I've written, (well, co-written.)

The new Sooty DVD from Abbey Home Media, NOT
Skerratt Media, although the names are... similar.

Notice I said 'pose next to.' This fabulous news comes hand-in-hand with the hilarious irony that I can't actually afford to buy a copy!

And I'm not fishing for sympathy here. My financial predicament is self-induced, on account of the enormous cost of my last project. But when I say 'hilarious irony,' I absolutely, genuinely mean it. It cracks me up! In a good way!

I am disappointed that I won't be getting my free magic wand as I can think of several uses for it, many of them at the Co-operative, but more on that later.

To business! Let me say a bit about this fine selection of episodes. I'm assuming Richard Cadell (presenter and executive producer) made the choice, and I can honestly say I couldn't have picked better. Okay, I'm biased, but from the point of view of a writer, as well as fan, I feel they're our strongest five.

As I haven't seen the DVD, (just thought I'd mention it), I'm basing the following on having watched the eps live, and on Amazon's product listing!

So we kick off with Chocco Chimp, unless you're hmv.com and then the *entire* DVD is called Chocco Chimp, (pah, they're not FANS!) This is my favourite of the whole series, not, I hasten to add, because of the wonderful Matthew Corbett's cameo, (he was the presenter before Richard Cadell), but because, for me, this one has the complete package: a story-driven script, lots of humour, (both dialogue and slapstick), and some gorgeous visuals, (the whole thing takes place in a safari park-themed crazy golf course, with Sooty dressed as Sherlock Holmes!) It really is the ultimate episode for Sooty fans old and new. Plus, out of all of them, this one was the most fun to write.

Next is The Runaway Bath, in which Richard very nearly killed me. I had flu at the time, very badly, and had been in bed for days, (okay you can show some sympathy now if you like. Also I can't afford the DVD.) When I suggested that Richard should talk "donkey" to his furry friends on the beach, he went one step further and devised a song, which he stood up and sang for us, with a dance. Bear in mind how difficult it is to breathe ordinarily when you have flu, then combine with that feeling we all know - laughing-so-hard-that-it-hurts! - and you have an actual, genuine near-death experience. But what a way to go it would have been! Plus this episode has a bath tub on wheels, which is cool.

Third is The Wedding. Originally called Mo's Wedding. And then Richard's Wedding. Out of all the episodes, this one went through the most drafts, (close runner-up, I think, is The Great Race.) I think it all takes place in some weird, parallel world, (like something out of Fringe), where Stacey Solomon is a church vicar, and where people say "I will" instead of "I do." I don't know how the latter came about. I do remember having a very long and detailed conversation about it with Richard, by the end of which we had intelligently concluded it was the only logical way to go. And at the time it made perfect sense! Watching it now... hmm! Unsure. Tiny niggles though, let's be fair. The Wedding is another of my favourites.

Fourthly, The Swimming Lesson. Sweep parachuting off the diving board was inspired, and I'm allowed to say that because it wasn't my idea!

Finally, it's The Marching Band. This was the second episode we wrote, (the first was The New Ride, albeit in a very different form), and when I first watched it, I did feel a bit uncomfortable, as I think it's obvious that we're still 'finding our feet' as writers. It's at those moments when I'm unable to just be a Sooty fan and I become my own worst critic. It probably isn't obvious to the outside world. That said - what's not to like! There are some wonderful cameos from fellow scribe Winkleton Taylorson, and some hysterical visuals, (the gang look superb in their band uniforms.) The first draft had an elderly trombone player being hoisted aloft by a beserk crane. "Too expensive" apparently. Bah! The devil's in the detail!

If you're lucky enough to be able to afford this (boom boom!), head on down to your local Asda, (where it's currently charting at number 1 I'm told!), or if you're an Amazon junkie, please consider ordering via the link on this page http://www.facebook.com/sootysweepandsoo to support the Sooty fan community on Facebook.

Enjoy!

Recording with Colin Baker

Me and Colin Baker go back a long way. Not that he realises this, (I'm guessing!) When I was 7 I saw him for the first time in Blake's 7. On my 18th birthday I met him at a convention in Darwen, and embarrassed myself by throwing camera batteries in his face. And on the 15th July 2012 I met him at Cottage Road, Headingley, not entirely by accident, as he'd arrived to record the part of Mr Cutler in my latest bank-balance massacre, Menston Green!

"There is nothing you can do to prevent the catharsis
of spurious hilarity!"

I can only imagine Colin's bewilderment as this mop-haired corduroy-wearing baby-faced scarecrow / man bounded over to him, palm outstretched. "Hello sir!" says I. "Good to meet you, I'm Alex!"

Colin very politely shook this stranger's hand. "Alex, hi," he replied. "What are you then?"

"I'm the producer, and the director," said the scarecrow, "and the writer. Oh and I'll be reading with you as well."

That sentence always makes me cringe. At best I must come across like a stuffed haystack with a God complex. At worst I must look as if I don't have a clue what I'm doing.

Mind you, I can't see myself as others see me. And I'll probably never know what Colin Baker thought of me. Maybe I wouldn't want to. Maybe I'd be pleasantly surprised.

After the recording I had a bit of a downer for two days. This is nothing unusual for me. However, once I saw some of the production stills, and listened to some of the scenes, my enthusiasm was re-ignited, and I was SO relieved. Thinking about it, absolutely nothing went wrong, which is phenomenal when you consider all the things that could have gone up in smoke: nobody got lost / ill / broke down, everyone had scripts, the scenes were acted / technician'd / recorded without a SINGLE hitch, not only did the cast and crew get away on time, they got away EARLY. After the carnage that had engulfed my last project, (Life on Earth Retold where, on some days, I didn't even know if I had a full cast, although not because of anyone who appeared in the finished product, I must add), Menston Green has been an absolute breeze.

So far. But it's onto post-production now...!

Obviously I'm hugely grateful to everyone who's given up their time to take part in this project. I love you all. I'd just like to give an extra special shout-out to my parents, (all three of them!), for their moral and financial support, the lifts to and from the studio, and for the mighty fine catering.

Also a massive thank you to Mr Tim, Mr Ash and Mr Matt, who did a, haha, "sound" job at tech'ing the project, (that joke never gets old.) Tim and Ash will also be handling the post-production on this, and I have every faith in them.

Finally - thank you Colin Baker! A legendary actor with a career that encompasses so many of my favourite shows: Blake's 7, Doctor Who, Jonathan Creek, Come Dine with Me... He drove up from Cambridge just to record this quirky comedy about a village convenience store, produced by a Ray Bolger lookalike. I don't know how many other celebrities would travel hundreds of miles to record with an unknown production company, but he's made my year.

"I did offer Paul Darrow a role in this," I told Colin during a recording break, (Paul Darrow was Avon in Blake's 7, and has acted with Colin Baker a number of times.)

"Could be worse," Colin said, with a cheeky grin. "You could have got Sylvester McCoy!"

The sixth doctor is a gentleman - I know he was joking. Which is just as well, as I have Sylvester ear-marked for the sequel!


In the meantime, though, stay tuned - the release date and format for Menston Green will be announced in due course.